Notes
by justformemories
Summary: She's gone, thinking it's the best for him. (Sorry, writing summaries aren't my best)
1. Chapter 1

** I do not own these characters, only the story, the characters are owned by stephanie meyers**

He crumpled the paper in his hand, closing his eyes tightly and leaning to the wall until his forehead stopped him. The wall was cold, much like the flash of cold that ran down his spine. _How could she do this!? _His eyes snapped open, pushing himself off the wall he grabbed his sneakers, pulled them on and dashed out of his house, running full speed, like something was chasing after him.

* * *

_-click, click, click-_ It was the same noise, over and over, as each wheel of the train took her further away from her mistake. _Am I doing the right thing? Its ok...he won't find me. He'll be fine, grateful even..._Her thoughts turned back on themselves. She kept reminding herself that this was right, that he wasn't ready no matter what he said. She reminded herself that this was her fault, that even if it took two of them, she was the one that would have to do everything and much as she wanted him there, she realized that he would have left her anyways, or so she told herself. She didn't know where she was going, just bought the ticket and headed out. Bella laid her head against the cold glass, watching the rain splatter against the window and drop down in mini rivers.

-_earlier that day-_

_ "Hey Embry" she spoke into her phone. "Can you do me a favor? I have a surprise for Jake, but I need some help."_

_"Sure, whatcha need?" _

_"Well to get the ball rolling I need you to deliver something for me, just a little note, he'll know what to do next." she spoke with a monotone voice. She knew embry was smart, but hopefully, he wouldnt pick up on what was going on. _

_"you ok? you sound off" he added hesistanly, "but yeah, I'll help."_

_"Oh yeah! Im fine!" Bella squeaked out. She had to cheer up, this was just another adventure she was going to go on._

_"Right...Ill be over in a minute." he breathed, something was up."_

Bella ran a chilled hand over her face, trying to forget this morning. Its over, its done. Embry will tell him, its just a game to him. Shaking her head, she closed her eyes, pulling her hoodie closer around her, tucking her hands deeper into the sleeves. Finally, she started to daze. _-click, click click, click-_

* * *

He was lagging by the time he found himself in front of her apartment. Slamming on the door, hard enough to make slight dents, he bellowed for her "Bella! Open the damn door! This isn't fucking funny!" Twisting the knob he realized the door was open. Hesitantly he stepped inside, took a deep breath filling his lungs with the scent of her. "Bella!" he shouted, moving numbly through the apartment looking for her. "Bella...please...come on honey, this isn't funny." He stopped in the bedroom, noticing the bed was made, not a normal thing. It was like she wanted him to take notice, things were different. Sitting on the bed gently he stooped over himself. Forcing himself to breathe deeply, letting out the breath slowly. His eyes were closed, gripping the edge of the bed and grinding his jaw.

"Jake?" he heard another voice calling. "Jake? Are you ok? You took off so fast..." embry stopped talking as he walked into the bedroom. "Dude are you ok?" Cocking an eyebrow up he knelt next to the bed. "Whats going on?"

"She's gone..."Jake breathed...opening his eyes slowly, trying to hold in the tears. "She just...said...left..."he dropped the note that was crumpled in his hand, had been squashed there ever since he had first read it, then reread it to make sure what he had read was true, was actually written on the paper. He lifted his head slowly, gazing at his best friend. "Did you know when she gave you the note?" He was able to hold his tone even, though, he wanted to to choke out his best friend right about now.

"What?! No! She said she had a surprise...I figured it was some sort of anniversary today or whatever." Embry started to mumbling, going over the phone call earlier in his head. "She said she had something for you..." no way could this be happening. "Did you guys have a fight?" He stood up, walking back to the wall, leaning against it and crossing his arms in front of his chest. "She seemed fine when I picked up the paper...I mean a little pale but thats nothing new."

"No..."Jake whispered. "Nothing..."

Embry walked over and picked up the note his stunned friend had dropped to the floor. His eyes scanned it quickly, picking at certain parts and piecing them together.

**Jake...it's over...be happy...not good enough for you...**

_What the hell?! _His head screamed. "Dude! This has to be a sick joke!" _I thought we were over this...Bella may have been hurt before but she was better now, right? Jake put her back together, they were happy! It's almost been a year, she should be better! _

Jake watched his friend pace the room. _How could this be a joke? She and I dont joke like this..._ His thoughts started to jumble and turn.


	2. Chapter 2

-_buzz, buzz- -buzz, buzz- _

Embry groaned in to his pillow as he reached blindly for his phone on his bedside table. He rarely put his phone on silent but after yesterdays events and having to put jacob to sleep on his couch he felt he could get away with it for the day. _Wrong again..._he grunted to himself. Replaying the events from yesterday he flipped his phone over so he could see who was calling.

"Unknown number" flashed on his screen, sitting up with a lurch he answered the phone barely louder than a whisper, but more forceful than a yell.

"BELLA!" he caught himself before he woke jacob; _if he's even asleep_ he thought to himself.

"Where are you!? Are you ok?! What's going on!?..."it was like a flood of questions filling the empty response on the other side of the phone.

"Bella?" he whispered, throwing his legs over the side of the bed, sitting up straight.

"Embry, I'm sorry. I cant tell you much but..."the other line started to go fuzzy.

"Bella, wait! Wha-" he was cut off.

" I only have a few minutes. I'm safe. But I need to tell you. But you have to promise not to tell him." her voice sounded tired, had she gotten any sleep? She looked like hell the day before, but that was normal for her in the early morning...hell, even he had rough mornings with all the work, patrols and studying he'd been doing.

"Um...why don't you tell me whats going on?"

"Look, I didn't know what to do. Im scared, I'm alone and he doesnt need my problems anymore"

"Bella-" He was cut off again, _that, _he thought, _is going to bug me._

"Look, just tell him its for the best. But I figured someone needed to know and theres no way I'm telling him or my parents, or the rest of the pack. I trust you. Your his best friend and you'll be able to break the news to him when he's ready."

"Wait...you want me to tell him or not? I'm confused..."

"Shut up..." he could hear her frustration in her voice, obviously it had been in a while since she had sleep and probably something to eat, only bella would get grumpy from lack of sleep or food, or both, rarely was she grumpy otherwise.

"Look...tell him when he's ready but for now dont say a word."

Embry raised an eyebrow..._I smell trouble. _Getting up from the bed he slowly stepped to the door, barely opening it to look out into the living room. Opening the door more he slithered out of the doorway and walked quietly over to Jacob, who was curled into the couch hugging himself tightly. He couldnt tell if he was asleep or just out of it since it seemed like he would be frozen since he had to be pulled off Bella's bed and forced him back into Embry's truck. Starting to lift his foot to poke jacob in the back; he tended to swing if someone other than bella tried to wake him.

"Dont wake him up if he's sleeping!" he could hear bella squeak, flipping around embry tried to find her.

"Bella are you here!?" he started.

"No...but I know you well enough to know that you'd be at his place or he's at yours."

"Yeah...well...he's kinda...hmmm...let's go with out of it, thats a nice way of putting it. Are you going to explain whats going on or.."his voice trailed off and he lowered his foot. Taking a few steps back embry leaned against the white, cool wall and slid down. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine...well as fine as I can be. Look, just please...promise you'll look after him." she barely got the words out before the operator's voice came on asking for another change deposit. "Dammit...look. I'm...well...I'm pregnant." -_click- _The line went dead and embry staring into space...jaw on the floor...

* * *

_Dammit! Why me?! Why does everyone come to me..._Embry continued to grunt to himself as he got dressed and headed to the kitchen to make some breakfast. _How am I supposed to tell him when he's ready?! He's already a shell of himself and its only been 24 hours...How the hell am I going to do this? Oh hey jake, sorry bout bella, by the way she called from a pay phone, told me not to wake you but said to tell you when your ready that she's pregnant, want some coffee? _Barely paying attention to the eggs in the pan embry heard a thud and walked to see jacob on the floor.

"Really? Are you ok dude?" he stared at his friend who was sitting up shaking his head.

"ung..."was all jacob was able to get out. "my head hurts..."

"Yeah well...you fell off my couch and last night you nursed like to vodka bottles..." glad he left that out of the conversation with bella. "Want something to eat?" he turned and pulled the eggs off the stove and slid them onto a platter. "Coffee? Nah...you probably need water..." mumbling to himself he poured a cup of coffee for himself, made toast for jacob and placed a water next to his friend. "We need to talk"

Jacob stared at the water, desperately thirsty but not wanting to move, thirst won out and he sipped slowly so as to not get himself sick. After a moment he pulled himself up and onto the couch. "Yeah...well..." he hadnt said much else since he'd busted through Bella's apartment and couldnt find her. He couldn't understand why she left, why she brought embry into all of this. If they had problems they always talked it out, they were honest with each other. What had he done to screw it up?! Staring into the water glass he glanced up at embry who was babying his coffee. He didn't look right, he looked like he had been sucker punched, but without the pain, it was emotion, an emotional punch.

"What?" jacob finally asked. Embry had been trying to get his attention, well...he had been mumbling about something. Jacob raised his eyebrow. "Embry...?" he questioned.

"I dont know how to tell you this..."

Jacob jumped up at his words, water spilling all over the floor and rushed up to embry, pushing him against the wall "you know where she is!"

Embry watched as his coffee was dropped to the ground...sighing, he pushed at jacob's large hands, "She called a little bit ago.."

"Where is she!?" Jacob pressed. He looked more alive than he had for the last couple of hours.

"She didnt say where she was, just to take care of you, something about her problems and somethingaboutbeingpregnant.."the words whooshed out of his mouth like a flood breaking through a dam.

"WHAT!?" jacob looked like he had been struck, smacked in the face with a sledgehammer. "Wait...what? Take care of...problems..." his face scrunched up before he whispered, "pregnant?" letting embry go he stumbled back to the couch, put his head in his hands and for the second time ever, if front of his best friend, he wept, great heaping sobs. The only thing embry could do now was call the rest of the pack and tell them what was going on.


	3. Chapter 3

Bella hung up the phone and hung her head. She hadnt meant for her situation to slip up to embry but she also knew it was bound to happen. She and Jacob had been so careful, but apparently fate had other plans. She had missed one period, but it was finals week and work had been really busy, so she didnt really think about it. Her breasts had become sore but that usually happened before her period...and with her previous stomach problems the nausea didn't mean anything to her. _How could I be so blind!? All the signs were right there..._Looking up, Bella pulled her black rain coat tighter around her, determined to figure out what to do next. _Obviously I need to see someone... _Absentmindedly Bella rubbed her belly as she walked, noticing what she was doing when she looked into a store window she dropped her hands and blushed.

* * *

He stared blankly at the wall. Thats all he really did when he wasn't forced to work, eat, sleep or move for any reason in particular. He had run one or two patrols, but it didnt help when his judgment was messed up and his mind was foggy. It was like he was running after his tail the whole time...Sam finally had enough and told him he had to at least work at the garage to keep his mind busy.

"He forgot how to do an oil change Embry! We have to do something or we'll loose business!" whined Quil. Neither of them knew how to handle what was going on with their friend. They took turns watching out for him, making sure he didnt forget to breathe most of the time.

"I got it...but what can I do? I tried to get the phone tracked but it was unknown!" embry grumbled.

"Ugh...did anyone tap her credit cards? Doesnt she have a bank account with him!?" Quil huffed. With that small amount of words Jacob snapped his head up and jolted out of his seat.

"Quil your a genius!" Cupping his friends face in his hands, quil wiggled nervously, trying to move away. Still squished in between his big friends' hands Quil tried to speak, "wha I say dis time" Releasing him Jacob bolted towards the door, checking for his keys and dashing into the car to drive away.

Rubbing his face quil gave embry a surprised look then grinned. "See I'm a genuis." Embry snorted, crossed his arms and watched Jacob drive away.

* * *

**AN: Sorry...I had an idea in mind, but started to loose focus. Ill edit it again later.**


	4. Chapter 4

Rolling over in her small bed, Bella thought of the previous days events. _10 weeks...I'm ten weeks pregnant...Late april...its june now...how could..._Rubbing her hands over her face, deep in thought. _What am I going to do? _ Sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she surveyed the tiny room she was in. She sat on the bed in the middle of the room, a small chair butted up against the window and a tv sat on the small dresser across from her. It wasnt anything fancy, but it would do while she was thinking. After traveling for two days she had come back, but she couldnt go to him. She had taken the train out of state and came back, she knew it wasnt right to keep the baby to herself, that even if he said no she couldn't keep the knowledge that the baby was his and it was wrong to keep it from its grandfather, from the others. She felt every emotion sweep over her, angry, frustration, loneliness...all the emotions she put on herself. She couldnt even imagine how Jacob was feeling. She abandoned him, she was pretty sure she had broken him, when he had been the one to fix her all she could do was turn around and break him. She felt the tears overflow from her eyes and drip down her cheeks. She knew she would have to face him, but didnt have the courage to do it right then...soon though...

* * *

Jacob sat back on bella's bed, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands. He was tired...very tired but he wouldnt stop looking for her. He glanced down at the papers he had spread out on the bed, credit card receipts, phone records, emails...anything...anything from the last week, anything to give him an idea of where she was. Quil had given him the idea, they shared so many things together, cell phones...banking...everything...why he hadn't thought to track her down before he had no clue..._Probably cause I was so out of it...Will she forgive me? How could I have been so blind?! _

She hadn't used her phone since the day she left, only to call embry to get him to pick the infamous note. He couldnt imagine how embry felt, he had been the one to give him the note and he had no clue the damage that piece of paper would hold in its contents. Embry had apologized over and over till Sam had to tell him knock it off, it started to grate on everyones nerves.

Glancing through the paperwork jacob took special notice of the use of the card they shared, it was for emergencies only but it had been used to buy a train ticket out of town but after that nothing else showed up. _Clever Bella...touche...where are you headed..._Jacob just kept reading. After the ticket there was very little to help him since she had only bought a few things with it, the rest was taken out of her account and used in cash...cash withdrawals...the only way to throw him off the trail.

_-1 new message- _Blinked on Jacob's phone, cocking an eyebrow up he reached for his phone to scroll through the messages, he had alerts on everything he and Bella shared, he **had** to find her, somehow he would...

* * *

Bella slid her bank card to pay for the room for the rest of the week...she'd need it. She looked at her cell phone, which had been turned off for about a week. _I really should check my messages...I should tell them...No! They dont have to know everything until I'm ready._ She picked up her back pack and headed to her room.

Placing the bag on the ground she pulled out a notebook, tape, colorful pens and all of her paperwork from her past appointment. While she didnt want to face Jacob, yet, she couldnt stay selfish about the baby. Sitting on the bed she began to write. She told him about the appointment, the blood work, the urine samples, all the questions she asked, everything, every detail was written as if she wanted him to be able to see everything happening. In different colors she wrote her weight, the babys information and any important details she felt he'd like to know. Picking up the picture she taped it to the page; _"I know there isnt much to see...but I begged for this sonogram, I needed to see the proof...something...anything to prove that...well...we made life...I dont know...maybe I sound stupid..."_ The explanation ended there and she held up the book, reread everything, closed it and put it back in her bag.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been two weeks since she had gotten on the train and left, only to come back two days later. Instead of going home she headed to another city, one she didnt think anyone would look for her in. She had gotten lucky to find a job quickly, especially with the way the economy was, she was picky but also needed to think about the baby now instead of just herself. She also realized that she wouldn't be able to do any really hard, heavy lifting work in a few months and had to let all the potential bosses know of her pregnancy. It had become routine for her to write in the notebook that she kept for Jacob, anything about the pregnancy, the job, how she was sorry and there was always some sort of apology about breaking him and that she realized that he may never want her back. When she wasn't working Bella wrote, or walked, determined to stay and shape and to not let her emotions take over her mind. Instead of weeping she moved, she walked, she people watched, anything to keep her distracted. The only thing that bothered her was the feeling that she was being watched..._No one knows where I am...even if they did they would come to me, not keep their distance. _At least thats what she thought.

* * *

Watching her walk to work, Jacob stayed hidden. He felt horrible that he had to become her stalker but he also didnt want her to run off again. Knowing Bella, she would come to him when she was ready, she needed time. It killed him that his best friend had to be the one to tell him that she was pregnant. They hadn't heard anymore from her so they had no idea how far along she was, if she was healthy, if the baby was healthy and it drove him crazy, slowly, painfully. He had so many questions to ask...he wanted to hold her, tell her it was ok, he would be there, he wanted to feel the life that they had created, but he couldn't, she wouldnt let him. It made him angry but he wouldnt leave her, but the trust was gone, well most of it. He had faith she would be back, he just didnt want it to take forever.

The week before the card was used on a hotel room, giving the name of the hotel, the city and state where she was. Jacob couldnt have been happier. He felt alive again, like he could breathe. Immediately he had thrown come clothes in a bag, jumped in his car and left. While he drove he called Embry to give him a heads up. He wouldnt force her back, she had to do this on her own. But he couldnt stand by and wait, he had to be there just in case. He wouldnt leave her alone, she wasnt going to go back into that depression, he wasnt sure she could handle it again. So he watched and waited. He wouldnt have to wait long...

* * *

Sam finally grew tired that one of his members would be missing and he was needed around the rez, he decided to take this problem into his own hands.

"Embry...grab a bag, we're headed to Bellevue." Sam stated in a very stern voice. No one needed to be hurt, but he couldnt let the drama keep going, it was making everyone antsy. Jacob was gone, down one in the pack, plus he wasn't at the garage so business was slowing down. Embry was still feeling guilty and tried to make up for it by stepping up in the garage and taking jacob's patrols so he wasn't sleeping and it was wearing him down, quickly. The rest of the pack were annoyed because being a packs' girl she wasnt there and she was causing unnecessary drama. Did she really have to run away? OK she was scared but they would be there for her, they always were. They couldnt stand to watch their brother hurt the way he did. Thats when they came up with the plan. Someone would have to force her back or at least to talk to them. They were all hurting and could only imagine what it was doing to Bella and Jacob.

* * *

_-few hours later-_

"He isn't answering" Embry stated plainly. Sam and he were headed into town and were trying to find Jacob. How many red rabbits could there be? Yeah...famous last words.

Driving slowly Sam and Embry watched for any sign of bella or Jacob.

"I just hope he's talked to her...this is really annoying me. I can't let my pack be torn apart and I wont let it happen. Its high time she grew up." Sam grumbled. Embry continued to look out of the window, thats when he noticed Bella's long auburn ponytail.

"STOP!" he shouted, pressing himself against the window.

"Call...if you mess up my windows...-"

"Its bella!" Pointing at the girl who was climbing quickly up a ladder. "Huh...didn't know she could climb a ladder...she usually trips over her own two feet." Grinning to himself, embry turned and looked at sam. "Guess Jake should be near by, keep a look out."


	6. Chapter 6

Bella steadied herself on the ladder, pushing the pillows back as far as she could to be able to put another pillow in the wall. She'd only been there for two weeks but most of the ladies made her feel welcome. Her manager knew about the baby, it wasnt a gossipy place so no one else knew who Bella didn't want to know. She was lucky to have her job and she was hoping to be able to keep it as long as possible, decent pay, enough for the room, food and to be able to start picking things up for the baby. She was 12 weeks pregnant and was missing Jacob horribly. She wanted to call him, text him, email him...but she could never find the strength to hit send.

Walking over to the register bella was stopped by heather, someone she actually felt comfortable to be around

"Hey did you do the pillow wall?" heather asked.

"Yep, had nothing else to do, its quiet today." Bella nodded in response. It was the bane of their working existence to work on the pillow wall.

"Why? I dont think I could do more pillows if their in the back...Its already driving me nuts that I did this out of boredom" she sighed and leaned against the desk. "I bet" heather laughed. "

Nah, I just wanted to avoid that task like the plaque. Hey are you up to anything tonight? A few of us were thinking of getting some dinner and drinks, wanna come?" she asked quietly. Bella smiled.

"Sure! Its been a while since I've gone out. What time?" The girls chatted the rest of their shifts away, talking about work and who was going and where dinner would be.

* * *

Embry snuck up behind Jacob, grabbing him by the mouth and pulling him backwards.

"SHHHHHHH! Its just me and sam, be quiet, we need to talk." Jacob thrashed about then turned and glared at his best friend then proceeded to lick embry's hand. "DUDE! Gross!" Embry grabbed his hand back and rubbed it on his pants. "Thats nasty...I know where that tongue has been..."he smirked and was thumped on the back of his head. Sam shook his head, crossed his arms across his chest.

"Have you talked to her yet?" Sam grunted out.

"No...She has to come to me. I can-" jacob was cut off by sam's hand giving him the stop sign.

"You have to talk to her. Your needed at the rez and the garage. My pack is being torn up and I'm not dealing with this any longer." Sam continued on his rant. Jacob listened but watched as Bella left her store with a friend, same height but with short black hair. They were laughing and he relaxed a little knowing it had been a good day for her. He always worried about her, especially since she was working at a furniture store now. "_she should be home,...relaxing...reading...anything"_" he thought to himself.

"A week jacob."

"What?" Jacob snapped back to reality.

"You have a week or I'll make it my business to bring her back. You cannot do this to yourself to her or the baby." Sam hated being the bad guy, but sometimes, most of the time with the pack, it was needed. Jacob's jaw dropped slightly, but he snapped it shut quickly.

"I'll figure something out...I just cant push her...I cant let her get away again" Sam nodded, agreeing with him.

* * *

Sitting at the table Bella and heather just talked. And it felt good. Bella explained her life up to and before jacob and the baby came along. Well, since they had begun dating over a year or so ago. Heather had done some what the same. They got along great and Bella knew she could trust her.

"Why did you come here?" Heather asked. She wasnt being nosey but she could tell Bella had a lot on her plate so to speak.

"I left jacob..."she sighed. Heather's eyebrows shot up.

"Excuse me?! I thought..." heather stopped mid-sentence, looking toward the door where two amazing looking guys had just entered. They werent from this side of town, she would have know them, being the social butterfly she was. Shaking her head she looked back at Bella. "Sorry I dont mean to pry." She looked sheepishly away, back at the bronze gods that had walked in.

"Your fine...I just...something happened and I thought itd be better if I just...left before he could." Bella could feel the hot tears growing in her eyes. "It was an accident but he's young and I shouldnt mess up his life, he'll figure out it was for the best...Maybe I'll go back..." she went on to explain about the notebook, the letters, and lastly, the baby. Heather stared at her, not sure whether to smack her or soothe her.

"Well then..." heather coughed. It had been like they were old friends. "I figured you had something on your mind...but wow...how are you going to stay at work with all the heavy lifting? He does know doesn't he?" Questions continued to tumble out of her mouth like rocks down a hill side.

Bella nodded slowly. "I'm pretty sure he knows...I told his best friend over the phone..."

"The phone? Really Bella" heather shook her ink black hair. "Thats a sucky way to do it. Shouldve just sent the pee stick" heather went onto grin, trying to cheer up her friend. Bella slowly smiled

"Thats just nasty..."

"But you do realize he has the right to choose for himself, right? He sounds like someone that'll be around no matter the outcome." Heather squeezed Bella's cold hand. Bella sniffled. Heather shot a look at the two men that had sat a few tables away. Some how she knew they weren't here for the food.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this chapter looks so ratty, I couldn't find the right page to fix it so it looks...yeah...yucky. Forgive me! LOL**


	7. Chapter 7

Bella pulled her body pillow closer, wrapping her arms around the top and throwing a leg across the body. She snuggled closer pretending it was Jacob she was falling asleep next too. It was a hot night, the fan overhead was whipping around at breakneck speed and the sound of its continuous whirring helped lull Bella into a light slumber.

-*-Dream-*-

Jacob caressed Bella's cheek and kissed slowly down her neck, her eyes closed, she breathed him in.

"Bells?" he whispered.

"Yeah?" she answered.

"Are you happy with me?" he stopped caressing and pulled her closer to him. Her eyes shot open and looked deep into his chocolate eyes.

"What makes you ask that? Are..." she took a deep breath and moved away a little bit.

"Are you not happy? I know I've had my problems but I think I'm doing a lot better than I was. I'll change if I have too, if your not happy." Everything came out in a rush, like she was trying to assure herself of something, not knowing what was wrong.

Jacob smiled and tugged her back to him. "Silly Bells..."he yawned" You seem to always avoid the question. Yes I am perfectly happy with you, I'm complete with you, but I wanted to make sure you were happy." he nuzzled into her neck, feeling her relax slightly.

"Are you happy?" Closing her eyes she snuggled closer still. A slight smile played across her lips. "Yeah...I'm happy... I feel like I'm a puzzle and you were the missing piece. I feel whole again. I wouldn't mess this up for the world."

-*-End Dream-*-

Breathing in deeply Bella sniffled and hugged the pillow closer. She missed him a lot and had started to realize how hard everything was going to be without him. She could find out what the baby was soon, but somehow it didn't feel right unless Jacob was there. Slowly opening her eyes, she wondered if hallucinating was part of being pregnant, she could have sworn she saw him the other day at the restaurant with Heather. Propping herself up, Bella laid a hand on her small belly. She wasn't showing a lot but she knew she would soon and with all the work she had been doing she was always tired and never really had the time to look at herself. She and Jacob had made a life together and she felt horrible that she took the choice away from him if he wanted to be there or not. The tears that were always close by when she thought of him started to flow slowly down her cheeks. Reaching for her phone she dialed a familiar number.

- -buzz, buzz- -buzz, buzz-

Embry reached for his phone, barely glancing at the number before he grumbled a firm "hello" into it. 2 am...really? 2 am...no one has a sense of sleep anymore?!

"Embry" sniffled Bella.

Embry shot up out of bed. "BELLA!" he screeched and winced knowing Jacob would be running into the room any second now.

"Embry is he ok?" she sniffled again.

"Of course! I mean...he's been about as good as he can be without you..."embry kept talking and made eye contact with Jacob as he entered the room. Pressing his finger to his lip he motioned for Jacob to sit on the end of the bed and to stay quiet. Jacob sat down quietly, as if Bella could hear him move, like she was a scared rabbit. Embry made the motion to show jacob she was crying, or had been, his fists tightened in the sheets.

"Are you ok?" He asked softly. "Where are you?" A multitude of questions had been bouncing around between the boys, questions they may never have answered.

"I miss him...I want to come home." Bella stared into the darkness of her room. She finally had the courage to admit everything. She wanted him holding her tight, snuggling in their bed after a long days work, even if he smelled like a truck stop after work.

"I've been working so hard and thinking...but I took away his choices and it wasnt fair of me" she whispered...choking on her words. "I'm a coward" she choked on the word and let a few more rivets of tears fall down her cheeks.

Embry blew out a breath he didn't even realize he had been holding. He looked over to Jacob, smiled and gave him a wink. "

"No...no it wasn't fair but I know he's been thinking of you. I'm sure he'd want you home, safe, happy and healthy. The whole pack is worried. But I'm not sure if we'd be able to come get you." Jacob glared daggers at his best friend and forced himself to stay seated, wondering where this was headed.

Bella felt the shock hit her dead in the chest and a pit grow in her stomach. "wh-what?" she gulped.

"Yeah...we're kinda outta town and we're not sure where-" he was cut off when a giant hand smacked over his mouth and the stern look of jacob's eyes were directly in front of his face.

"Out of town?" Returning the favor from the other day, Embry licked Jacob's hand and grinned.

"Yeah..." Thawack! Embry's head bobbed forward.

"Maybe I could...could be home before you guys get back? Or I could come to you guys? Where are you?" she was desperate.

"We're in Belleuve" he grinned bigger as jake's eyes grew wide. A slight squeal escaped her lips, which Jacob could clearly hear as embry yanked the phone away.

"Where!? I'll find you!"

"Do you know where this furniture shop is?" Details and names, times, it all ran together for them. He could hear Bella shuffling around her room, finding shoes, getting dressed and he watched as Jacob rushed around the room and heading for the door.

"How long will it take you to get there? K...we'll be there." Smiling, embry hung up the phone and laid it on the table.

"Jake...make it quick...I wanna go home and this drama to be done with!" with that, embry handed Jake a note and pushed him out the door and plopped back onto the bed, closing his eyes and hoping to get some very much need sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Bella whipped around the room, pulling on her "comfy" pants as she had named them and her newest shirt that accentuated her small belly, grinning at herself in the mirror she was glad she had gone with Heather to the mall. While shopping wasn't her thing heather had persuaded her with the "just in case talk". Brushing her hair quickly and pulling it back into a ponytail Bella thought back to the recent mall trip...

_"Oh come on Bella! You look adorable and it'll fit until the end of your pregnancy! And probably beyond..." heather whined as she looked at her friend who was turning around in front of the mirror. _

_"Besides...you never know who'll you'll bump into these days. " Heather grinned, glancing at the mirror again and seeing some deep brown eyes look back at her. _

_"I dont know...I just...shouldnt I buy something for the baby? Peanut will need more stuff than I do..." bella rubbed gently at her small bump, smiling a little, remembering at the last appointment the doctor might be to tell what itll be the next time she came in. _

_"Peanut?" heather questioned._

_"Well yeah...I couldn't call it IT all the time, besides, peanut likes the name, I swear I can feel it moving" rubbing again, bella sighed and thought about jacob. How he should be here, his hand should be where hers was, how she had wronged everyone. Wincing at the painful thoughts she shook her head to clear her thoughts, instead she turned back to the mirror and struck a pose._

_" Think Jacob would like it?" she smiled softly and look over to heather. Heather grinned back._

_"You have no idea..." _

Walking out of the room, bella couldn't help but grin to herself. She felt a surge of urgency and began to run, down the stairs, out the door and straight to where she had been working for the past few weeks.

**JPOV**

Pulling on his boots jacob pulled open the door and looked at his best friend. He'd been there the whole time, whether it was out of guilt or a sense of duty, Embry had stuck around.

"Thank you." he said. Embry looked up from the bed, shocked. "I'll figure out a way to pay you back, but I'm glad you stuck around."

"yeah well..." mumbled embry. "You coulda been stuck with quil." snickering embry rolled over, emotions weren't something he liked to share much but he was glad he had been around.

Running out of the room Jacob flew down the stairs, jumping away from the last two steps, like it would cut mere seconds from his run, the one that would bring him to his bella.

Bella paced the storefront, her nervous were all around her, thoughts ebbed and flowed, like a tide. How she missed being in La Push with her friends, her family, her jacob. _How stupid can you be? _ No matter how much damage she had done they had held their arms open and accepted her.

_-Thudd, thudd, thudd-_

Time seemed to slow for her, she turned away from the glass and looked forward, all she could see was him. His short, cropped hair sticking up all over, his bronze skin seemed to glow in the moonlight. He was so focused on her she could just smile. His eyes seemed like they were in a trance and she couldnt help herself as she thrust her way forward, arms out wide, nothing could keep them apart in this whole world, no more pain, no more distance, it was just them. The world dropped out of view.

"Jacob!" She screamed, running forward and launching herself into his arms.

He grabbed her mid air and held her close, kissing all over her face, pulling her as close as he could without being able to crawl into her skin (if that had even been possible). Hugging her closely he tipped her chin up, trying to look into her eyes, but he would have to wait. Bella clung to him, leaving sloppy kisses everywhere.

"Your here..."she said breathlessly. "Your here, your not a dream.."-kiss, kiss- "I'm so sorry.."-smack, smack- "I'm a coward."

Jacob grinned and accepted the kisses. He could barely move anyways, she had herself wrapped around his body as if a snake wrapped around its prey. "Bella" he laughed "baby...please..." -smack, kiss, smack, smack, kiss- "Let me look at you."

Slowly bella uncurled herself from jacob's body. Suddenly she was nervous and wished she had brought a jacket even though it was rather warm out. Sure began to wrap her arms around her middle then stopped. He didn't deserve to miss another minute.

Jacob smiled as she dropped her arms slowly, never had she held herself so cooly. It wasn't that she had gained confidence so much but that she knew she wouldn't have to hide from him anymore. A small bit of anger flashed in his mind, he hadn't been able to watch her grow, their baby, he had missed so much. He shook it away as he looked into Bella's eyes. Slowly he reached forward and placed his large hand on her small belly. Looking down to where his hand laid he looked back up at her, tears flooding his eyes. He dropped to his knees and pressed his face closer to her stomach.

"Hello baby..." he felt his breath catch, a few tears dropped. "I'm sorry I wasn't here..." Bella shushed him.

"It's my fault, peanut knows that, I've told it everything." bella choked back her own emotions. She hugged him closer to her body.

"Peanut?" came the muffled response.

"Yeah...I just...I couldn't know what it was without you. But I couldn't name our baby IT and since I couldn't know without you..." she rushed the words out.

"Bella...your babbling" he grinned and snuggled closer to her belly. He looked up and laughed, knowing full well she was blushing in the moonlight. He stood up, at least one hand was always on her, he tilted her chin up and kissed her softly. She had waiting for him. She had taken all choices away from him but in the end couldn't do the important things without him.

"Let's get you back your room. We'll need to talk and too much excitement can't be good for our little peanut." Sweeping her into his strong arms he began to ask directions to her place.


End file.
